I still
remember – 23 years and 27 days ago when the sweetest little blue-eyed, blond fuzzed
baby was handed to me. Minutes before, she
had finally emerged after a ten month pregnancy and 16 hour labor, gray and
still. The midwife quietly said, “Rick,
pray for your baby.” He asked, “Why?” My mother told me later she nearly screamed
at that point. My precious midwife
simply stated that our little girl was not breathing. While Donna worked to clear her airways and
administer oxygen, my young husband prayed for God to breathe life into our
little girl. I watched, propped up on my
elbows, curiously at peace. In just a
few minutes, she took her first breath and began to turn from ashen to
rosy. She didn’t cry, but I did. Much later, after we shared a bath of healing
herbs and made it through the strenuous ordeal of my first attempt at dressing
her, we were tucked into bed together and I looked down at my daughter. All those long months ago when I lay on this
same bed terrified at the prospect of the labor I had just experienced, I had
no idea how amazing it was going to be.
I felt so proud of what I had done.
I had never known grace like that – as strength to do something hard,
something scary and do it well. To know
that no matter what, I could get through it because I wasn’t doing it
alone.
When Rick
came to me later, a little worried that somehow our little daughter knew he
thought she was a boy all this time and was somehow wounded by that, I was
still marveling at the grace I had experienced.
He was able to dip into it himself and let go of his fears. Together we decided to name our daughter
Catherine Grace, which simply means pure grace.
She was the living embodiment of the grace we had been learning to receive
from our Heavenly Father while she was being formed and delivered.
Now, here I
am 23 years and 27 days later, counting the few hours that remain until she
leaves us. Of course, she will be back,
but not to stay. This is her time to
fly. The nest is too small. The community is too small. The entire state of Texas is too small! This woman has a heart for the nations and
she won’t be held back! She is still the living embodiment of pure
grace. She has an astonishing capacity
for love and joy that I could never have given her. She is a priceless treasure, mine and yet not
mine anymore.
And this
mother is once again looking for the grace to do something hard, something
scary and do it well.
