Confident in Love

I have a confession to make. I did not have my quiet time this morning.  I did get up early, but instead of sitting right down with my Bible, I went and made coffee. Then I thought I’d better open my email.  I had two messages that needed replies. Then I figured I’d better find out if anything important happened in the world while I was asleep.  The next thing I knew, it was past time to wake my kids up!  So, then I felt like I had blown it.  I’ve started my day wrong, probably my whole week wrong.  God must be so disappointed in me.  And I can’t even fix it until tomorrow because having a quiet time that isn’t a “great while before day” doesn’t really count.  Just look at Mark 1:35 KJV  “And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, He went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.”

Anybody laughing?  Anybody ever been there?  Well, here’s the great thing - I didn’t stay there.  I actually decided to walk in grace and believe that Jesus still loves me, my Abba Father still loves me, and the Holy Spirit has not forsaken me.  I moved on into my day and decided to act like a woman who knows she is loved.  I’ve heard there is nothing more beautiful on a woman than confidence.  I would add that there is nothing more attractive than a woman who is confident that she is loved.  Do you remember those elementary school conversations that went like this:  “Are you mad at me?  Because it seems like you’re mad at me.  Are you sure?”  Oy!  How many fine friendships ended over conversations like this because it is such a pain to have to constantly reassure someone that you really are on their side?  I wonder if the Lord ever gets weary of having to reassure me of His love.  He has definitely gone out of His way to show me His unconditional love and commitment.  He didn’t hold back from sacrificing His most precious Son to redeem my life from the death sentence of sin.  He has been faithful every day of my life to provide all my needs.  He has healed me, forgiven me, and blessed me in ways I can’t even comprehend.  Isn’t it about time I quit worrying that His love is affected by my performance?  Having a quiet time is important, but not so I can check it off my mental list and feel good about myself.  That is religion and in the face of His amazing love, it is disgusting.  It’s important because it is my time to be with Him and Him alone.  It is time not only to pour out my heart to Him, but also to listen - to hear His plans for my day, to gaze into His face and soak my heart in His truth and love.  I’m bummed that I missed that special time today.  Somehow, all joking aside, it really is different after the day has gotten going.  My heart is receptive to Him first thing in a way that it never really is later in the day.  Still, I believe I honored the Lord this morning by choosing to reject condemnation and move forward in confidence.  When I did that, it gave me the grace to look around for someone to pour His love on today.  I don’t think that would have happened if I had camped out on the failure mud flats. 

Lord Jesus, I love you.  Thank You for loving me.  Help me remember that time with You is a treat and a treasure. Give me a heart that thirsts for spending time in Your presence more than my first cup of coffee!  In Your Name.  Amen.