Leaping Over Walls

For a while now, I’ve been aware of walls in my thought patterns.  Barriers that only exist in my head and yet, they still keep me from doing things I need to do.  For example, I have a wall in the area of my head where I plan meals, buy groceries and cook.  The reasons for this are mostly fear-based.  I’m afraid I’ll spend too much.  I’m afraid no one will want to eat what I make, including me.  I’m afraid it won’t be healthy enough.  When I hit this wall, I usually sit there and beat myself up for not having licked this thing 20 years ago.  This is one of those places where I need the Lord to step into my everyday life and set me free.  Today, I am choosing to believe that the amazing God who has saved me from my sin is also willing to help me live moment by moment.  Regarding this wall, His answer to me is to step past the fear and just do it.  Make a plan.  Stop sitting there stewing and wishing for perfect.  My family will be blessed if I make them food – period.  It isn’t just fear that makes a wall.  Wishing for perfect is another wall builder for me.  Last night, my ideal was sitting down to dinner together.  Unfortunately schedules didn’t come together and I only had one family member out of four around when it was dinnertime.  I was frustrated and hungry (never a good combo!) and then I realized, my daughter and I could just go ahead and eat.  The rest of the family would eat later and it wasn’t the end of the world.  Again, I heard the Lord saying: Just do what you can.  This may sound really lame and obvious, but for me I’ve felt like each day was an obstacle course.  I thought for a long time it was because of all that I had to do, but now I am beginning to wonder how much has been the mental/emotional baggage I’ve been dragging around as I tried to do what needed to be done perfectly.  Today the Lord is saying to me:  Just do it.  Just do what you can.  And finally:  Just do what I give you peace to do.  How many times do we tie ourselves up in knots doing things that we really aren’t called to, but they sounded like good ideas?  I’m not saying there won’t be times when we are called to do something out of our comfort zone, but if God is saying “Go for it!” we will have peace even as we push ourselves. 

Abba Father, thank you for being so faithful to speak to us right where we are.  Please help us turn to You always, no matter what kind of wall we are up against.  Thank You, Jesus, for being the Good Shepherd who promises to lead us and never leave us! 

John 10:27

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.

Psalm 18:28-29

For You will light my lamp;
The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.
For by You I can run against a troop,
By my God I can leap over a wall.