Saturday, June 8, 2013

Real Life Meets Real God

Yesterday was tough:  busy schedule, heart-bruising conversation with someone close, crowded roads, endless demands and finally headache and mind-numbing fatigue.  Nothing new here, sad to say.  It’s an age-old joke - the weariness of women and the headache that goes with it. 

In the quiet sunlight this morning, this thought came:  What if the weariness comes from taking up burdens and carrying them on my back all day as I try to go about my business.  Fear, self-reproach, disappointment, anger, shame – they are all like heavy rocks in my pack and not very conducive to leaping up to the high places! 

Then my heart cries out to my Father God.  I see my foolishness so clearly this morning as I never did as I staggered through yesterday.  Why didn’t I run to Him and lay all these rocks down at His feet?  Placed there, they could become an altar for my wounded pride, my self-sufficiency to die upon once more.  Once again, I know the truth – Apart from Him, I can do nothing. 

So why do I so often shrink back from drawing near? 

Because… I'm mad at Him.  For allowing all this pain.  For not fixing it all years ago.  I look around and everyone else looks so much closer to “done” in God’s oven.  They look golden brown and ready.  I feel like mush.  My soul screams, “Why?”  Why does it have to be like this?  Why this road?  Why these problems?  Why? 

And now, I need to go find a secret place and pour out the anguish of my soul.  Now, I’m on my knees and undone.  It is pain, but it is a good pain because instead of a pain that sits like a rock on soul, it is a pain that pours out and leaves behind the absence of heaviness, something that feels like peace.  In this place, He asks me a question.  Why is not important here.  The question is this:  “Will you trust Me?”

I weep on Jesus’ feet and know that He was here before me.  I look at the pain, poured out all around me, and I look at Him.  I know Him to be faithful.  I know Him to be good.  I look in my heart and I know that I believe He will keep His promises.  He will make it all right.  He will even make all the pain worth it. 

Of course I will trust Him.  In the fits and starts of my slow-to-learn heart, I will trust Him.  For me there is no choice.  He is Life and Light and though I do not understand His ways, I trust Him and His Love – for me, for the ones I love and for all the souls who cry out “Why?”.


  1. Friend Services G Club 69
    Ruby888It is the path to victory in the conquest of the casino computer network very easily. For anyone who is attentive. Want to join a leg already? Can be communicated to the buyer service. Gclub69 Internet gambling. We are pleased to consult you every movement. Just enter your username and password to play gambling. It is used to withdraw money from all banks in Thailand. Additional details may be read on the bank account. From the site at this stage. You can call the buyer service again to insure. Transfer process Personnel of 69 Club Casino Online will send you an SMS to confirm and provide your username and password to you. Please modify your password. Be your own We want to point out to you that. Use a hard-coded password and avoid the code. Link to your profile Whether it is a birthday. The phone number, name or person near you, because it is easy to steal information. At the end of the process, you start playing through the g-club through the website. IBCbet

  2. Potentially you're carpooling with teammates to and from the motel to the get-together concentration, maybe you're voyaging solo, or perhaps you're getting your associate or kids tow. Rent Car Rawalpindi Regardless of the condition, you require a vehicle that can agree with your need and not go through each and every Rent.