Sunday morning fear was once again dogging me. I struggled to worship and finally sat down and grabbed a pen, so I could pour out my heart on paper. This really helps me because as I write, my swirling emotions become concrete thoughts that I can get a grip on. The fear was a familiar one – I’m afraid of missing out on all God has for me and my family. I’m afraid we’re messing up so badly He will never be able to fix our mistakes. I fear failing to do some crucial thing that will finally release a breakthrough. Can’t you just imagine how fun it is to live with me when I am in this mode? Remember what God said to me about giving in to fear? When I live as a wife, mother and friend from this fear of failing, I continually fall flat on my face. I also expect far too much from those around me. There have been times when I’ve pinned my hopes on the help of some particular person, only to struggle with disappointment when they didn’t live up to my expectations. This is a sad bad place to live, but it is not where I plan to stay, because here is what the Lord told me in the face of all my fears:
Be yielded. Be willing to do what I tell you to do. Wait on Me until I tell you to do something. Wait in joyful hope and peaceful trust. I WILL do what I said I would do. It is My work done for My glory. You will know that it wasn’t you that made it happen. Pray for grace to stay out of My way. Trust Me for the salvation of your family with the same trust you have for your own.
Deep sigh of relief on my part. It is on Him, not me to make His will happen in my life. I don’t have to be desperate anymore. He will bring what I need and even who I need in His time, and He will complete His work in me and those I love. I will stand in awe and give Him praise for what only He could do.
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:36
Abba Father, please help us walk in joyful hope and peaceful trust, excited to see Your kingdom come and Your will be done in everything. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.